Meet The Jochizza: Costco's Most Unhinged Food Court Menu Hack
For Costco fans finishing a grocery treasure hunt, there's no sight as welcoming as the food court at the end of the check-out line. With classic offerings like hot dogs, pizza, and the mysterious, Hot Pocket-esque loaf known as the chicken bake, there's really no bad choice when deciding on your post-shopping victory snack. So for the times you can't decide, don't, take one of each, and make yourself a Jochizza – the three-in-one menu hack that's not for the faint of heart.
Crafting a Jochizza is no simple feat, but like anything worth having in life, you have to work to get it. After you've taken your materials over to your table, slice open the chicken bake lengthwise so it can act as a bun for the hot dog wiener. You can toss the actual hot dog bun, though you may want to save it as a snack in case you're still after. Finally, peel the cheese off the pizza, and drape it over or roll it around the hot dog. Don't forget to take a moment to admire your creation before you dig in!
Pizza, hot dogs, and chicken, oh my
The Jochizza, like the turducken before it, is a controversial meal, and many will spurn its mere existence. What the haters don't understand, however, is that food is all about creativity. That goes for the chef and the consumer. Be it from Starbucks, In n' Out, or Costco, the idea of a secret menu lights up a certain kind of customer, as it lets them get a bit more involved in the process. The Jochizza is far from Costco's only secret menu hack. In fact, it's an amalgamation of two other popular combinations: a hot dog (sans chicken bake) wrapped in pizza cheese, and the hot dog with a chicken bake bun known as a "Forbidden Glizzy."
As for the taste, if you've ever wanted to try Cheesy Blasters from "30 Rock" or tacos from the "Saturday Night Live" "Taco Town" sketch, the Jochizza may be for you. And like any great handheld snack, you can customize it further with ketchup, mustard, and relish. Sure, you could also call the Jochizza a Frankenstein's monster made out of ballpark food, but that doesn't mean it can't offer any culinary value. Forget regular boring plain pizza and those old chicken bakes. Grab life by the horns, make your Jochizza, and don't mind the stares from other Costco shoppers — they're just jealous.