The Right Way To Order Off-Menu At A Restaurant

Maybe you don't deserve the eye roll Meg Ryan's character Sally got from the waitress after delivering specific instructions for how she wanted her meal in "When Harry Met Sally." Instead, you may have received a curt, "I'll see what the chef can do" or even an outright "no" when you asked to change to a menu item at a restaurant. Or, perhaps you noted "no substitutions" written on the menu. Whether your request is for dietary or health reasons or you have a strong preference for food prepared a certain way, being denied can ... well, leave a bad taste in your mouth. But, you can have it your way as long as you keep a few things in mind.

Restaurants have legitimate reasons for not wanting to make changes to their menus. Changes to a menu item can increase the preparation time, which can throw off the kitchen's timing. The change could negatively affect the flavor of the dish. Menu alterations can have cost implications, impact service in the dining room, and tax the resources of the restaurant. After all, restaurants cannot reasonably stock every specially requested item. Restaurants are also frequently short-staffed and may not have the extra hands needed to prepare something unexpected.

Restaurant owners, chefs, and servers say there is a way to get what you want. First and foremost, ask nicely. In fine-dining restaurants, there are etiquette rules you should follow, and you should not assume the restaurant will be able to or want to accommodate your request. Be prepared to order something else if they deny your request. Also, be reasonable and realistic. If the restaurant is busy, it may not be a good time to ask for something special. You also don't want to stray far from the restaurant's usual fare. Some restaurants do have some secret menu items, but an Italian restaurant is unlikely to be able to satisfy your request for fried chicken.

Also keep in mind where you're dining. A family-friendly restaurant that you frequent often is more likely to take your request than a fast-food place under pressure to get food out quickly. In a fine dining restaurant, the chef may be concerned about how a substitution or alteration will impact the dish.

The best way to make sure a restaurant can meet your needs is to be prepared. Take a look at the menu online to see if there are enough items on the menu for you to eat, or call ahead to see if the restaurant can accommodate a request. After all, most restaurants know that a happy customer is a return customer.