10 Items You Should Avoid Ordering From Outback Steakhouse

If you've ever been to Australia, I assume you have also been to an Outback Steakhouse. The early aughts gave us fast casual in all of its glory, and Outback Steakhouse was one of the OG standbys amongst Applebee's, TGI Friday's, and Olive Garden. Offering steak, shrimp on the barbie, a plethora of Crocodile Dundee jokes, and, of course, the most unhealthy (and arguably really delicious) appetizer of all time, this eatery was built to revel in the glory of Australian beef culture.

Steaks reign supreme, and the sides are atypical of a steakhouse — but some are obviously better than others. As someone who eats out quite often -– and has eaten at her fair share of fast-casual restaurants — I can attest to the fact that some things are great and some are, well, just not. If you find yourself needing to entertain a meat-and-potatoes client or visitor and only Outback will suffice, here are 10 things you should avoid ordering.

There are wedge salads, Caesar salads, chopped salads, and harvest salads usually adorning fast-casual menus. The idea is to appeal to literally everyone with a crunchy, appearance-of-healthy appetizer that'll get you ready for the big meal to come. Outback Steakhouse, being a house of meat and vague Australian themes, doesn't really need to have a strong salad game, but I always appreciate the effort. In any self-respecting steakhouse or fast casual steak spot, I'd expect to see a wedge salad and a Caesar salad — just look at Texas Roadhouse or Ruth's Chris. Really, that's all that's needed, but Outback recently introduced its Blue Cheese Pecan Chopped Salad — a concoction that's not only boring, but seems confused, too.

The Blue Cheese Pecan Chopped Salad is advertised on the menu as a chopped-style salad featuring mixed greens with shredded carrots, red cabbage, green onions, cinnamon pecans, and Aussie Crunch, all tossed with blue cheese vinaigrette and topped with blue cheese crumbles. First and foremost, a typical chopped salad can have pretty much anything you want, so Outback gets a pass and a nod there. Second, though, is that this salad feels disjointed. The Aussie Crunch is actually some sort of fried Asian noodle — the type you'd see on a sesame chicken salad or similar. The blue cheese vinaigrette, which somehow manages to make a vinaigrette feel heavy, starts to weigh the noodles down, making them a bit mushy. Then, the cinnamon pecans — they're oddly sweet, and while it works to temper the blue cheese, it's just another crunch factor next to the already-crisp noodles. Overall, if you want a salad before your steak dinner, skip this one and go with a classic Caesar or the Classic Blue Cheese Wedge.

Steakhouses are made for sides; they're the Thanksgiving of restaurants. When you sit down for the big turkey-day meal, you're not super psyched about the turkey. You're looking forward to the calorie-bomb of sides — these may include stuffing, macaroni and cheese, biscuits, rolls, and sweet potatoes topped with brown sugar and marshmallows. The same argument applies for steakhouses like Outback. Sure, a perfectly executed N.Y. Strip is delightful, but the smothered baked potato and macaroni are better. So then why, I ask, would anyone bother to improve upon an already tried-and-true side like macaroni and cheese?

Outback's Steakhouse Mac & Cheese Bites are described on the menu as "eight golden bites filled with macaroni, Asiago, Mozzarella and Parmesan cheese;" they are, naturally, served with house-made ranch dressing. First of all, this dish feels violently American. What other country would take macaroni and cheese — noodles quite literally drenched and draped in a cheesy bechamel — then make that dish into a small ball, batter, and deep fry it? This has carnival food written all over it, and unfortunately, it tastes like it, too, but not in a good way. Reviewers online have found the bites tasteless despite the multi-cheese combination; calling the balls gluey and the noodles overdone. If you're craving macaroni and cheese, stick with the original; no need to deep fry it.

There are fast-casual restaurants for lobsters and seafood. We, millennials, managed to destroy and bankrupt one of them so completely that not even Shrimpfest could save it. So, it goes without saying, that if one were craving lobster, shrimp, shellfish, or seafood in any capacity, a steakhouse isn't top of the list for where you'd get it. Of course, surf and turf dishes are present even on the finest steakhouse menus, but, even then, seafood or shellfish plays second fiddle to the main event: beef.

All that said, Outback Steakhouse is not the place I or you should be going for a seafood-centered dining experience. On the menu, though, is the option for two lobster tails, steamed for "maximum tenderness" and flanked by two sides of your choice. The reviews across locations are not great. First, a few reviewers said the tails are tender, but small; describing the amount of meat available as "a sliver" and expensive considering the market prices. The moral of the story here? Stick with the land meats.

On a crisp, crunchy-leaved Autumn day, nothing hits quite like a big, hearty bowl of chili. Endlessly adaptable to what you have on hand, from beans to meat to veggies, chili isn't on a ton of restaurant menus. When it is, it should be something special. Also, at a steakhouse, you've got primo cuts of meat on hand. That being said, you would think that a chili chock-full of tender, long-simmered beef, beans, and whatever makes it Tasmanian (Tasmanian devils? Is it red like the dirt there?) feels like a safe bet for your appetizer.

Sadly, this isn't the case. The Tasmanian chili, nestled on the soup and sides portion of the menu, is advertised as "all steak, no beans" and ... that's it. One TikToker posted a video of stirring said chili with little to no meat to be found in the tomato-based sauce. Other reviewers said that while the chili has allegedly won some awards in and around Texas, the sauce is oddly sweet and doesn't feature much aside from the "steak bites" within. To me, this sounds a bit like a way for the Outback folks to repurpose less "worthy" cuts of steak into a long-simmering chili. It's oddly reminiscent of Wendy's chili, which utilizes broken hamburgers for its mixture. We'd say skip it and get yourself a good, old-fashioned baked potato instead.

Pasta has no place on a steakhouse menu — I will not be taking questions at this time. In a spot where the purpose is meat in its most pure forms, why would a pasta be a main option? I understand Outback's position here — they're trying to appeal to as many folks as possible and, for whatever reason, maybe some visitors to this fast-casual chain would rather have noodles in sauce versus delicious, juicy Australian-ish steak with classic steakhouse sides.

The Kingsland Pasta is described as a "steakhouse twist on the allegedly popular Queensland Pasta" (also on the steakhouse menu). Diners have a choice between grilled steak and grilled chicken; steak only; or steak and shrimp over the fettuccine noodles tossed in "bold" alfredo sauce. The main issue with this pasta is that the sauce is unbelievably boring. There's nothing bold about it. It's as if someone took jarred alfredo sauce — already a mortal sin — and added some cracked black pepper and red pepper flakes. Groundbreaking stuff, honestly. Then, the steak bites felt overcooked and dry. It's as if someone took the leftover steak bits trimmed off of better steak, grilled them after coating them in seasoned salt and blackening spice, then tossed them in the pasta. It's like something I would've made after a night out in college — that's not a compliment, either.

There is a place for a burger on a steakhouse menu — this isn't pasta. In a world of meat, a burger becomes the ultimate handheld, so it would make sense that a classic hamburger had and has its place at this Australian eatery. Outback Steakhouse has a variety of sandwiches for those looking for a more lunch-themed meal, including two burger options.

The Outback Burger is described as being topped with lettuce, tomato, onion, house-made pickles and mustard. There's nothing inherently wrong with that, we'll say. It's a basic burger, one like you could get at any fast casual or fast-food restaurant. At a place where meat is king, though, shouldn't the burger be a bit more special? This isn't a "avoid it cause it's bad" listing; but more of an "avoid it for something better" listing. The "something better," in this case, is the Bloomin' Burger. It's got all the basic stuff on the Outbacker Burger, plus the same sauce that comes with the chain's famous Bloomin' Onion and pieces of said Bloomin' Onion. Go big, or go home.

Dessert feels like kind of a must at a fast-casual restaurant. From brownie sundaes to skillet cookies to multi-layered pieces of cake and everything in between, you absolutely have to leave room for something sweet when it comes to these standby food stops of the early aughts. Like Chili's, Olive Garden, and the others, Outback Steakhouse also has a stacked dessert menu, complete with every sweet concoction you'd expect — and some you wouldn't. Upon examining the Salted Caramel Cookie Skillet, which honestly sounds really good, I was pretty surprised that this dessert ends up as a "skip it" item in online reviews more often than not.

For the uninitiated, the Salted Caramel Cookie Skillet is described on Outback's menu as "a warm salted caramel cookie with pieces of white chocolate, almond toffee and pretzels, toasted in a skillet and served with vanilla ice cream." I mean, on the description alone, sign me up — and the addition of salt, toffee, and warm cookie smothered in ice cream? Have mercy. However, upon diving into some reviews of this sweet, sweet ending, it's obvious that the dish doesn't live up to expectations. For many reviewers, the cookie is too salty — to the point where the ice cream on top serves more of the purpose of counteracting the added sodium. The cookie is also smaller than expected, which may be okay, considering the dish clocks in at over 900 calories. 

Born in and around the 1950s either in Missouri or Texas, the all-American cheese fry ranks right up there with funnel cake, corn dogs, and milkshakes as a decadent and delightful treat — it feels maybe more at home at the carnival or the boardwalk than it does on a restaurant menu. But this is America, and if the people want French fried potatoes smothered in thick cheese product and topped with greasy bacon, so be it.

Nestled amongst the appetizers are Outback's Aussie Cheese Fries; the description is exactly as you'd expect. The fries are "topped with melted Monterey Jack, Cheddar and chopped bacon with house-made ranch dressing." There's nothing ground-breaking in that copy, and trust me when I say these are absolutely not worth the incredible 2,600 calories they boast. The fries were not crispy — rather a bit limp. Then, you're adding fistfuls of cheese; basically steaming the potatoes underneath. Crispy bacon cannot save these, either. One of the main issues is that the cheese used — mostly Monterey Jack — isn't particularly flavorful. It melts well, but there's not a zingy sharpness to it like you'd get from very sharp cheddar, goat cheese, or even feta. The side of ranch is pretty good, so that's a plus, but overall, these are big time on the "skip it" list.

Here's a fun fact for you: Australia has both coconuts and shrimp, so the Gold Coast Coconut Shrimp on Outback's menu actually makes quite a bit of sense if you're buying into this whole Down Under thing and talking about the two components separately. Coconut Shrimp — the dish — is probably either of Caribbean or Polynesian origin (maybe both). It became popular around the same type Tiki bars reached their heyday; and, with them, Mai Tais, grilled pineapple dishes, and kebabs.

Classic coconut shrimp are shrimp coated in a flour mixture, dunked in egg, and then rolled in shredded coconut instead of breadcrumbs before being quickly fried. Some recipes feature a mixture of panko and sweetened coconut; others, a combination of unsweetened and sweetened coconut. Regardless, the result is a sweet and salty bite perfect for dipping in your choice of side sauce. Outback's take on the classic appetizer, though, is just too sweet for my and several reviewer's liking. Maybe the coconut mixture should be half breadcrumbs here to combat the sweetness? The dipping sauce could be something more akin to a chili sauce and not the sticky sweet marmalade the shrimp come with. If you are craving shrimp, the Bloomin' Fried Shrimp, featuring crispy fried shrimp drenched in the famous Bloomin' Onion batter, is a better choice.

I'm sure we all created some interesting, iconic, and even shameful dishes in our college dorms. I know I, for one, once decided to make a fish stew in the slow cooker all day. After an hour, it smelled amazing. After four hours, we were all kind of over the seafood smell, and the tender white fish I'd used had been reduced to slime. But, such is life, and such is the learning environment for 20-somethings on their own for the first time. It feels like it was in this vein that someone invented the Alice Springs Chicken.

According to the Outback Steakhouse menu, the Alice Springs Chicken is a grilled chicken breast that's then topped with sautéed mushrooms, bacon, Monterey Jack and Cheddar cheeses, plus honey mustard sauce. As a note, I seem to be relatively alone in my distaste for this particular dish — it isn't so much that the dish is bad on paper. The execution of it, though, left something to be desired. There were maybe five sauteed mushrooms, which honestly lacked flavor and just added a sort of mush factor. The cheese and bacon on top felt odd. The combination felt so much more like it belonged on a sandwich than just on my plate. In fact, the whole dish felt like the "without a bun" option on a handhelds menu. I'd just as soon ask for a brioche bun and stack the whole thing on there instead.

Although these are ten items I'd personally avoid eating again, Outback Steakhouse does have a lot of good — even great — dishes to offer when it comes to fast-casual steaks and basics. Any restaurant — from a drive-thru to a Michelin-starred eatery — has hits and misses, and this Down Under-themed spot is no exception. So, even though I'd probably never order deep-fried macaroni and cheese balls again, my 4-year-old may decide they're his favorite thing.

I have eaten out a lot in my time as a freelancer. I have also lived in places where fast casual was the go-to. My husband works in construction and he often will only have time for a quick bite at a fast-casual spot; or, it's the only spot deemed acceptable by hungry workers. Outback has often fallen into the realm of quick lunch or quick dinner for us. For any dishes I had not personally eaten, I relied on reviews from social media and review sites. Taste and presentation were the ultimate deciding factors for me, although nutrition was taken into account for a few of the dishes.