The Etiquette To Remember When You Have To Send Wine Back At A Restaurant

It can sometimes feel like the rules of etiquette when you're dining out, although extremely important, can be completely overwhelming. For instance, when it comes to having to send a bottle of wine back, things can get particularly uncomfortable. When you go out for a nice dinner, one of the perks is trying new things, including wine. But not every wine is as good as it sounds, and not every wine suits every palette, so what happens when you get one you don't like? There has to be a better solution in between silent suffering or out-right rude rejection. Thankfully, expert Camille Parson Goldstein shared her insights exclusively with Chowhound about how to handle this awkward situation so you can enjoy your meal, and your wine, without any added discomfort from a dining faux pas.

As co-founder of Muddling Memories, a New York-based mixology company that she runs with her husband Cody, Goldstein has 20 years of experience as a hospitality professional and tastemaker. This has given her plenty of opportunity to learn the best tips on restaurant wine etiquette, and she will be the first to tell you that it is perfectly okay to send back a bottle of wine when you don't like it. Not only that, but she also says that you should never avoid doing so if you are dissatisfied. The only thing to keep in mind is your delivery. "Much like when you return anything," says Goldstein, "politely explain that you don't like the bottle." A civil tone is all that's needed to get you what you want without offending. 

Though it can actually be more cost effective to order a bottle of wine rather than a glass, it can feel like a gamble to pick something you'd like enough to warrant downing the whole thing. But whether you ask the sommelier to choose a bottle for you or you select one yourself that sounds enticing, it is perfectly acceptable to send wine back when you are dissatisfied. Camille Parson Goldstein encourages diners to remember that it is the server's job to serve you and give you what you want, something she calls "Hospitality 101." There are, however, a few dos and don'ts you may want to follow in order to help make the process a little less awkward. 

Timing is also important when you want to send a bottle back without being rude. A quality restaurant should let you taste the wine before serving the table, and as soon as you know it is not to your liking, you should let your server know. Goldstein advises you to not drink an entire glass before informing the server you'd like to return it. It probably goes without saying, but you should also definitely not drink the entire bottle before voicing your displeasure either.

These tips are in line with other rules of wine ordering, such as not ordering wine based on the color as that isn't a true indicator of how it will taste. Instead, either order what you know or ask the sommelier to either let you taste something or ask them to make a recommendation based on what your flavor preferences are and what you are planning to eat.