11 Store-Bought Chocolate Cakes, Ranked Worst To Best

No dessert is more classic than chocolate cake. You will find twists on it in cuisines worldwide, and rarely will you step into a bakery that does not have some version of it (or several). Chocolate cake is an American institution. After all, it has seen game-changing updates by celebrity chefs like Ina Garten, been mixed with zucchini for extra moisture (and a health kick), and even adjusted for Passover. But while making bakery-worthy chocolate cake from scratch is a common enough pastime for home chefs, sometimes you just don't want to spend three hours in the kitchen or pay $40 at a bakery to enjoy a birthday slice, amiright?

In that case, knowing the best store-bought chocolate cakes is helpful, so we decided to do the dirty work for you. First of all, may I just say that getting 11 cakes home in one piece while two children cause havoc in the back seat should be an Olympic sport. And if it were, I'd be a gold medalist. (Please note that there is a different category for people with three or more children, and no one should have to compete with them.)

In the end, though, we arrived home successfully and got to work. Our taste test involved six victims: the father, the mother, the husband, the small girl, the small boy, and the writer (who loves an excuse to refer to herself in the third person). You can learn more about how we ranked the cakes in the Methodology section at the end, but for now, let's dive in!

At the risk of being rude, I must say that this brand is in no danger of ending up on anyone's list of nostalgic cakes. Like, ever. It was universally loathed, with the small boy crying out for water as soon as he'd tasted it. Ranking in at 1.5 out of a possible 5 points and bombing in every category (flavor, cake, frosting, and overall), it was just plain disgusting. At only $2.44 a slice, this isn't super surprising, since you get what you pay for ... but even then, it was a bit of a shock.

Admittedly, this wasn't exactly news to us. When our family tried and ranked 10 store-bought carrot cakes, Walmart once again ranked at the very bottom. Considering these taste tests are blind (with yours truly being the only person who knows which cake is which), that's a pretty damning indictment. Two is a pattern, people; avoid Walmart's bakery at all costs.

I associate Pepperidge Farm with good times. Growing up, my family loved Milanos and Brussels cookies, but pretty much every cookie in their product line is a 10 out of 10, in my opinion. So imagine my dismay when this cake turned out to be truly gross. I had high hopes, too, considering it only costs $5.99 for the entire thing. Again, though, you get what you pay for, and I guess I should have seen it coming.

With a total score of 1.67, three people gave it all 1s, two people gave it all 2s, and the mother ranked it slightly higher, bringing its overall score up a bit, but also noted that it tasted like "cheap oil." This is far from a rousing endorsement. Despite the good deal, stay away from this one; there are better deals to come, promise.

This cupcake was so dang cute that I automatically assumed it would be delicious. We were all looking forward to trying it, and the biggest concern upfront was that, due to its size, there wouldn't be enough for six of us. In the end, that was far from the biggest concern as it ranked in a flat 2 out of 5 points.

Perhaps the oddest thing about this cupcake, aside from the fact that it was much cuter than it was yummy, was that its frosting tasted exactly like peanut butter, at least in my opinion — but the bakery's whole schtick is that it is free of both tree nuts and peanuts. Also disappointing was that the mother remembers it so fondly from catered events at the law firm where she worked in San Francisco back in the day, but it seems to have gone downhill when it went commercial.

That said, Just Desserts does have a few things going for it. It's adorable, so it would make a decent treat for someone who has a nut allergy. It also only costs $3.29, so if you hadn't just tried ten other types of chocolate cake, you might go easier on it flavor-wise. Overall, I wouldn't run away from it, but I would definitely choose any of the higher-ranked options over it, at least for the nut-safe crowd.

Despite its fancy name, Private Selection is a relatively low-quality brand. You can find it at Kroger, Ralph's, Walmart, Amazon, and (in the case of the Pacific Northwest where we live), Fred Meyer. Because it is somewhat reasonably priced at $3.99 for a decent-sized triple chocolate cupcake, I initially had high hopes, but they were dashed upon tasting. Overall it got a 2.6, with unimpressive cake and frosting that tasted mostly of hydrogenated oils.

There is one notable caveat here. The "triple chocolate" designation reflects the fact that the cake, frosting, and pudding center are all made of chocolate. However, the pudding center was not, in fact, located right in the center of the cupcake. That meant when I sliced into it to create six servings, only one slice had a decent hunk of pudding. While the lucky recipient of the piece with pudding ranked it higher than anyone else, everyone else was surprised to discover it was even there. Truly, the proof was in the pudding.

Since cupcakes are typically considered a solo food venture, you can assume that most eaters would get the tasty inside and rank this a little higher than we did. Just take that with a grain of salt. Moreover, please note that we only tried two cupcakes, and this was the better one.

Scoring a 3 out of 5, the Safeway Hershey's Bistro Cake was neither the best nor the worst of the lot. Many of us liked the Safeway cake okay, giving it 3s and 4s, but the father ranked it 2 in most categories, and the mother declared it fake. It is true that this cake seems better suited to children's birthday parties than anything else, but then again, if you were having a children's birthday party, it might just do the trick.

On the other hand, at $7 a slice, it was certainly no steal. Granted, buying a whole cake is always more economical than buying by the slice, and we were unable to price that out at the store because they didn't have one. So it's really up to you if you want to go check it out and see if it might be worth it. The cute mini Hershey's bar on the top was a nice touch, and the frosting was pretty good (if you can ignore the fact that it's the questionable brown hue one normally associates with a changing table).

Please note that Albertson's and Safeway use the same bakery, as we learned with the carrot cakes, so we didn't bother testing the former. You can safely assume that this cake will be represented at either store, so choose the nearest one to you.

By far the biggest cake we tried, Costco's also looked the nicest. With a gorgeous light-brown mousse on the inside and dark chocolate ganache frosting, complete with pretty sprinkles, it would look great on a revolving cake stand accompanied by a matching cake server. At only $16.99 for the entire thing, which could easily serve 12 people, it's a good deal too — but then, that's to be expected from the warehouse chain.

The only disappointing factor was the cake's ranking. At 3.5 out of 5, it sits right in the middle of our list. I should note that this was the last one we tried, which isn't fair to it at all. If you've ever tried 11 chocolate cakes, then you know firsthand the crippling lack of enthusiasm that comes with sampling the final contestant. By that time, we wanted nothing more than a nap, not additional cake and frosting. So all said, it's actually kind of impressive it scored as high as it did, and when I tried it again the next day, I found it to be much better. Given the chance to eat it on its own, I would have ranked it straight 4s. Still, science is science, and we were sort of using science here. (More on that in Methodology).

Overall, if you just want to eat a slice or serve a few guests at a casual dinner party, there are better options below. However, if you're trying to make a fancy impression, this cake has plenty of flavor and panache, and I'd say go for it, especially if you're a regular Costco consumer.

If you've ever tasted gluten-free baked goods, then no one needs to convince you that they can be seriously dicey. Subbing out your typical white flour for an alternative kind often leads baked goods to be gluey, chewy, dense, and either too wet or too dry. Simple Truth Gluten-Free Double Chocolate Cake, on the other hand? It absolutely hit the mark.

Unsurprisingly, this cake did not come in first place. It was still slightly gummy, even if it wasn't as dense as many other gluten-free cakes, but it was a nice moist dark chocolate, with good flavor and a reasonably airy crumb despite its density. Moreover, my family unanimously rated the frosting quite highly, with its scoring in the 4s and 5s across the board. Although it only got an overall rating of 3.83, had we factored in the frosting scores (which we did not need to in the absence of a tiebreaker; see Methodology), it would have been higher.

Plus, this cake was both cute and affordable. It's the perfect size for six people, given the six individual frosting swirls piped on the top, which made it really easy to know where to cut. At only $8.99 for the entire thing, it would make an amazing host gift for someone with a gluten sensitivity, and I wouldn't be shy about surfing it at an intimate dinner party.

When you come across a piece of packaged chocolate cake at a store that only costs $3, you are right to be suspicious. Our experience with the other cheap options on this list taught us that. However, Bakery Fresh is a nice surprise. The brand offers a nice, big hunk of cake with a decent slather of frosting across the top. The packaging describes it as "whipped icing," and we thought it fit the bill, with a nice consistency that doesn't become overpowering as quickly as ganache can.

Overall, ranking in at a 4, this cake was surprisingly good, considering it was a cheap brand. It tasted like one you might make at home in your electric stand mixer or with a nice boxed mix of devil's food cake, and I was into it. Other members of the family were not quite as enthusiastic as me, but that's okay ... I'm the one you should listen to, right? Right.

Given Whole Foods' reputation as a purveyor of gourmet foods, not to mention a price of $4.99 for a tiny slice, you would expect this cake to be good, and it didn't disappoint. The Whole Foods bakery I visited actually offered its Chocolate Eruption Cake as a slice and as a cupcake, but I elected to taste the cake slice because the cupcake had an odd dome of frosting that was then dipped in a coating of ganache. I didn't think that would be representative of a full cake. If you are looking for a personal serving, though, just know that there is a cupcake option in the same section as the sliced cake.

As for the cake itself, it was pretty banging. It scored a 4.17 out of five. Two family members gave it straight 5s, two gave it mixed 4s and 5s, and two rated it all 3s, pulling its overall score down somewhat. The father and I represented the latter category, and without our votes, it would have ranked first or second.

So why did I score it lower, you wonder? We tried it right in the middle of our taste test, so we'd taken the edge off our desire for sweetness but hadn't yet made ourselves sick. Thus, simple chocolate fatigue isn't the answer. I just didn't think it was anything special. The cake was fine, the frosting was fine, and the result was fine. But the piece was so small it felt like I was eating a molecular gastronomy creation, and I'm in too much debt to pay almost $5 for a few mouthfuls.

The husband's comment upon tasting the Trader Joe's Chocolate Lava Cake was "Why didn't we just eat 11 of these??" And honestly, that's pretty much all you need to know about it. It was freaking delicious, and at only $3.79 for a box of two, that's saying something. Our delight in the lava cake — to the tune of 4.33 out of 5 points — was especially noteworthy considering we tried it tenth and were already seriously flagging in our cake enthusiasm. The takeaway? Molten chocolate centers are simply irresistible, and life's too short to try and resist them. (It's *possible* that I ate a whole lava cake while shooting photos.)

My favorite thing about these cakes is how easy they are. You get them in the frozen section at Trader Joe's and keep them in the freezer until you're ready to eat them. Then all you do is remove them from their packaging, upend the little cups on a microwave-safe plate, and pop them in. The directions say to heat them up for 45 seconds, but I started at 30 and that was enough.

The only downside is that the cakes really are a personal serving. As soon as you cut into them, the center spills out, which kind of ruins the effect vis-à-vis serving. You've basically got to give everyone their own cake, which can add up if you need to accommodate more than six people. When compared to the price of a bakery cake, it's not actually that bad, but compared to No. 1 on our list, there's no need to spend the extra bucks.

If you don't feel like buckling down to bake with chocolate yourself, then this is the cake for you. Trader Joe's Dark Chocolate Ganache Sheet Cake has all the elements you want in a casual dessert that serves four to six people. It's affordable at $4.99, with moist cake and delicious chocolate. The packaging is cute and it's good at room temperature or straight from the fridge. It slices up nicely and looks good on a plate.

After totaling a ranking of 4.67 out of 5, I would happily get this for everything from a low-key weeknight birthday party to a Sunday dinner dessert, and the whole family agreed. Four out of six of us ranked it 5s across the board, with only one dissenter: the small girl gave it straight 2s, disliking both its flavor and its consistency.

Then there is the father, who remains unconvinced that there is such a thing as a perfect chocolate cake on this Earth ("There's always room for improvement!"), and who probably wouldn't even be satisfied with cake in the afterlife. He gave it straight 4s. Most of us, however, were completely sold on it. If you live near a TJ's and want a little sweet treat for the chocolatey set, then this is hands-down the one to choose.

Per usual, we took a very scientific-just-kidding-not-at-all-scientific approach to the rating of our chocolate cakes. True, there was blind taste testing and numerical scoring involved, ranking each cake on a scale of 1 to 5 points. We were not allowed to give a zero or, as the small girl did in one case, a 100. (She really liked the Costco cake, y'all.) Any scores outside the stated limits were adjusted accordingly, with extreme enthusiasm or disgust noted for our readers as appropriate.

The taste test proceeded one cake at a time. I was the only one who knew what cakes we were eating, while everyone else was served blind (with all the incorrect and humorous theorizing one would expect that to involve) and asked to rank them on a scale of 1 to 5. Tasting all 11 cakes in this manner did unfortunately run the risk of biasing us in favor of the first few cakes we tried and against the last few. The primacy effect is real, after all. However, it did not influence us as much as you might think, as several of the last five cakes ranked quite highly in our books.

Typically, where there are ties in our taste tests, we will use the individual categories (in this case, flavor, cake, and frosting) to break those ties. It didn't end up being necessary here, though, as all cakes ended up with their own unique numerical rating. Where it made a big difference to how we felt about the cake in question, or where we had specific comments that we felt readers should know, we did note those on our scorecards and here in the article.