The Case For Eating Your Burger With A Fork And Knife
Opinions about how to eat this or that can be hilariously divisive. Whether or not to fold a slice of New York City pizza, for example, is an entry-level debate, but do not even think about employing utensils, lest you incur the wrath of denizens from each of the five boroughs. The "right way" to order a bagel, which dairy to add to a Philadelphia cheesesteak, and even when to apply ketchup to french fries are all more hotly contested than the foodstuffs themselves. And it's all in good fun as long as nobody gets too weird about it. Truly, everyone should feel free to enjoy their food in whatever way brings them the most joy. But there's one unorthodox practice that even we've only recently become less self-conscious about: eating a burger with a knife and fork.
Rather than performing any finger acrobatics to properly hold a burger — pinkies and thumbs carefully choreographed to keep meat, bread, and accoutrements all together — using a knife and fork to eat your burger streamlines what could otherwise be a needlessly cumbersome meal. It's also even easier than hacks like flipping the whole thing upside-down, which also does little to keep your toppings neatly organized. The knife and fork are already within reach, or otherwise most likely easily acquired. Pick 'em up, go town, and enjoy your burger the way modern lifestyles demand.
New expectations for a big burger world
Standard restaurant burgers — including those at fast food joints and fancier destinations alike — haven't been reliably built for handheld eating for decades. They've grown so large, in fact, that you can forget about easily finding spots that adhere to Anthony Bourdain's one-hand rule for better burgers. Even in the genre of theoretically slimmer smash burgers, you're still looking at a two-fisted affair that'll likely leave both hands a saucy mess at best. Sliders aside, smaller burgers have become the exception, not the rule, unless you're forming your beef patties at home. Elsewhere, if the patty isn't too high it's too wide, or otherwise teeming with toppings that taste great but render the whole thing unmanageable. And that's even before you have to practically unhinge your jaw to chomp down on whatever you can chew. In a generation or so, burgers have simply gone from walking-around food to plate food.
Accordingly, eating your burger with a knife and fork keeps your hands cleaner (incidentally reducing paper napkin or towelette waste), your joints more relaxed, and, most importantly, each bite perfectly proportioned according to your preference. Utensils let you best negotiate how much meat, cheese, produce, and any condiments to include in every forkful. We've actually been applying this practice for years, and nobody's pointed fingers in laughter just yet. How could they? They're all tied up juggling burgers.