Pizza Hut's Pizza Styles, Ranked Worst To Best

Although Pizza Hut isn't the largest pizza chain in the United States (that honor goes to a name that might surprise you), it's still got some serious recognition. The brand kicked off in 1958 and today has grown to encompass 16,000 locations in more than a hundred countries. No surprisingly, most Americans have had a slice of their pie, whether it's lost in the mists of childhood or not.

That describes the situation for this writer, who is more familiar with Costco pizza, so I was excited to give it a go. I sat down with one Husband and one Small Girl to get to the bottom of what you should and shouldn't order from Pizza Hut. We tried every type of crust and an array of sauces and toppings.

Pizza becomes a much nicer experience if you have just a few tools on hand. Warming it back up on a pizza stone or in an air fryer (we opt for the latter) is always smart since a cookie sheet in the oven just can't get the same result. (Don't get me started on the microwave.) Finally, our family is becoming experts at dealing with leftover pizza, so let me recommend some Ziploc freezer bags, which are far and away the best solution for keeping your pizza freezer burn-free. Since we wash and reuse these, they last nearly as long as the eco-friendly options.

Crushingly for someone like me, whose joints hurt if I consume too much gluten, this crust once again came in last, just as it did with our Papa Johns pizza taste test. Gluten-free just hold a candle to good old gluten, so it will always suffer in an apples-to-apples ranking. The chemistry isn't on its side (if you're a Domino's fan, their crust is a bit better. It beat out the thin crust in our Domino's pizza taste test).

So what makes Pizza Hut's gluten-free crust such a disappointment? Pretty much everything. It was gluey and soggy and way too chewy all at once. It was just hard work, which is the opposite of what pizza is supposed to be ... i.e. the *reward* for all your hard work. Compared to other delivery joints, it was noticeably worse than Domino's and Papa Johns, both of which were ... not great, shall we say. But better than this. 

The best thing we can say about the gluten-free crust is it comes in a cool box. But then, all of Pizza Hut's pizzas come in a cool box, so it really doesn't count. Finally, note that the crust was difficult to cut. If you're going to go gluten-free then it might be helpful to have a pizza roller, since many restaurants don't get all the way through when they're in a hurry. The toppings were a saving grace. Both the cheese and the pineapple, which can be polarizing, were delicious.

First of all, how annoying is that name? But we're here to talk about the food, an arena this crust doesn't fare much better. Honestly, Thin N Crispy (argh) was nearly as bad as gluten-free, and there was much discussion about which one was actually worse. In the end, this one skated by with an ever-so-slight margin because, while the crusts sampled were a dead stalemate, this one tasted better with the sauce, cheese, and ingredients on top of it. At the end of the day, you can discard the crusts; you can't discard the entire pizza, so Thin N Crispy wins.

Let's take that with a grain of salt, however, since it is made with gluten — and is at the bottom of a list of five options. Nobody has to choose this because it doesn't help anyone's allergies, so Pizza Hut should honestly kick it to the curb. It tasted like cardboard, with pieces of the crust breaking off and going down like knives. At one point the Small Girl was in genuine distress, having failed to chew adequately and thus swallowing a shard that hurt all the way down. I really can't overstate how much you should avoid this crust.

That said, we must once again give credit where credit is due. The marinara sauce and mozzarella cheese were both tasty, and the olives and mushrooms were good. The black olives were still plump, and the mushrooms were fresh, not from a can.

There's some debate about what makes a tavern-style crust. The attributes are pretty standard: a round pizza, cut into squares, with thin layers of sauce and cheese and toppings. Though it is widely considered its own pizza style, it's essentially just a thin crust with a distinct shape. And while my family always assumed we loved thin crust, we've learned through our recent spate of taste tests that it's not all it's cracked up to be.

The truth is, thin crust is reliably too thin. It's crumbly, falling into brutal shards just like the actual thin crust did. There's not enough cheese, possibly because the base wouldn't support it, but somehow, it's still really greasy. It was frightening to chew and swallow.

While the sauce and cheese were a disappointment, the toppings were better. We opted for two types of pepperoni, side by side, both regular and cupped. Cupped, we discovered, is better, because it's crunchier and has more flavor ... but it still couldn't save tavern-style. This might have been better with some parmesan cheese, but guess what? The parmesan cost extra. I respect wanting to make sure that people are actually going to use it; that's just eco-friendly. But actually pricing out tiny bits of desiccated cheese that are unlikely to bear any significant resemblance to the original?

A good stuffed crust beats a store-bought pizza or even the homemade version any day of the week. We swooned as a family when we tried the Papa Johns garlic stuffed crust for the first time, and we've never completely recovered. So to say Pizza Hut's stuffed crust was disappointing is an understatement, but it also isn't fair to Pizza Hut, since stuffed ranks pretty highly among its six internal crust choices.

However, when all is said and done, the Pizza Hut stuffed crust was pretty mid. The Husband said, "I love stuffed crust so much that it feels like sacrilege not to rank it higher, but it just wasn't that good." Compared to Papa Johns, whose Garlic Epic Stuffed Crust was seriously a religious experience, it isn't worth paying for (especially since the price is roughly the same for both if you shop the deals).

At first, it was hard to figure why the stuffed crust was mediocre. The dough had decent flavor, and the cheese was gooey and stretchy. It was nice both on its own and dipped into a sauce. It took us a while to determine the problem was ratio: While a good stuffed crust should be bursting with cheese that's barely contained by the bread, this one had only a thin vein of mozzarella running through it. Given such a middling experience, we eventually determined that it would be better to ditch the stuffed crust in favor of the top two crust styles, which are more flavorful and have plenty of cheese.

Things are starting to get good. I'll admit: the hand-tossed crust took me by surprise. There are so many ways to make a good pizza, but I never in my life thought that hand-tossed was one of them. I have historically found it boring, flavorless, and an all-around "Why bother?" when compared to options such as New York style (which Pizza Hut doesn't have). However, my recent taste tests have taught me that not only do I dislike New York style from anywhere except an actual, dedicated NY-style pizza joint, but thicker pizza crusts are surprisingly delicious. I'm not a bread person, but this is worth it.

The secret behind the success of hand-tossed is mostly texture. It's light and chewy without being hard work, much like a nice focaccia. Although the crust's flavor wasn't mind-blowing, it was nice when accompanied by the cheese and toppings or when dipped into ranch dressing. The bacon and caramelized onion were both good as well, and we would recommend them as heartily as the pineapple, cupped pepperoni, mushroom, and olive.

The only reason this lost out to the original pan crust is flavor. If it had a bit more of that textured, sourdough feel that makes for a good pizza, it probably would have won in our books. That said, if you don't like a really thick crust, you should choose this one because the original pan crust is significantly thicker.

You could have knocked me over with a feather when we tried the original pan crust. I've been certain that I don't like the pan option — too much bread! Too dense! Bad ratio of carbs to cheese to toppings!

Yet this was our favorite crust, which is saying something since we tried it last and were pretty much bursting by that point. Not only had we tried five other pizzas — crust both by itself and with toppings on, with one to two toppings to sample per pizza — but we'd been eating for more than half an hour. We really, really did not want to put more pizza in our mouths, and we still loved this beautiful, pillowy crust. It was good on its own and good dipped. The texture was risen and airy, chewy without being dense, and nicely supportive of all its toppings.

As for the toppings, the barbecue sauce was deliciously sweet and tangy without being overwhelming, at least in my opinion. The Husband and Small Girl did not agree, but they like plain sauces. Suffice it to say, if you're a BBQ fan, this will cut the mustard. There's also a nice amount of cheese on the pan crust (not skimpy like the tavern-style), and both the grape tomatoes and roasted peppers were lovely vegetarian accompaniments to the rest.

So, how do we decide which pizzas to recommend? It's pretty basic: We eat them, we talk about them, we argue, and eventually there is a consensus, and peace reigns once again. We base our rankings on flavor, softness, chewiness, and structural support being the main ones. In fairness to the gluten-free crust, we judge it more gently, but it ends up at the bottom nevertheless.

In some taste tests, we like to bring the whole family on board. Our recent coffee ice cream sampling included the Small Boy, Small Girl, Husband, Sister, Father, and Grandfather. This time around, though, the Small Boy was gallivanting about, so it was just the Husband, Small Girl, and I. But even that there engendered enough arguing to be getting on with, and it took a full fifteen minutes to determine the ranking of the crusts.

Once we decide on the crust rankings, agnostic of toppings, we discuss additional factors, such as amounts of cheese, flavor, consistency of toppings, and how well the sauce pairs with the crust. While we report back on the details we think are salient, they don't weigh into our crust rankings. Everyone has their own idea of a good topping profile; it's the foundation that has to be delicious or it's all for naught.