Trader Joe's Frozen Pizzas And Flatbreads, Ranked Worst To Best

When it comes to Trader Joe's frozen pizza and flatbreads, I didn't have particularly high hopes. Although other Trader Joe's products have ranked quite highly in our household — for instance, TJ's was the winner of our chocolate cake taste test — I just didn't think I'd be that impressed by the plastic-wrapped options from the freezer.

Let me tell you, I was wrong. After trying 14 different flatbreads and frozen pizzas along with my family, I can confidently say that if you're out of time on a busy weeknight, a stop at TJ's will net you a nice dinner ... as long as you know where to look. Granted, you should be careful what you buy there. Their cheeses range widely in quality, and there are some items you should never buy. While their dips are great for transforming flatbreads, some of them are downright gross. 

However, their pizza sensibilities are spot on. Although you might think a Trader Joe's pizza salad would be disgusting, it's actually quite good. It's less surprising, therefore, to discover that their frozen pizza and flatbread options are pretty decent as well. Because they have so many — we found 14 on our trip — we took to the table to figure out which ones you should buy and which to avoid. Participating in the taste test this time around were the Husband, the Father, the Small Girl, the Small Boy, and myself. Here's what we found out.

When a BBQ chicken pizza works, it really works. The Trader Joe's BBQ Chicken Pizza, which retails for $5.49, does not work. Frankly, our family could not even be bothered to finish it. (Alas, that means there is still half a pizza left in the fridge that must be dealt with at some point. Sigh.)

Let's see, where to start? The pizza's texture was like cardboard, the cheese was sad and thin, the meat was shriveled and dry, and the whole thing tasted like it had sat in the sun for hours like an adobe brick before being packaged up and sold to the public. As if the taste wasn't bad enough, the aftertaste was tough, too. I think the Father summed it up best when he said, "This combination was not successful."

Talk about a heaping serving of nope. Do not pass Go, do not collect $200, do not go anywhere near these. The only reason they ranked higher than the BBQ Chicken Pizza is that few things are more off-putting than weird meat, and these were thankfully meatless. Not that it saved them any. Granted, we're not expecting miracles from a Trader Joe's frozen pizza option, but at $3.99, you'd hope for at least somewhat decent, wouldn't you? Let's remember that this is the same company that churns out truly delicious little baby quiche and has for years, so what's their major malfunction when it comes to these dry, flavorless pieces of tiny hardtack? No idea.

At first, I did try to cut it some slack. "If I'd been hiking all day, and I came down off the mountain, and it was the first gluten I'd had in a week, I might be happy about it," I told the Husband, who had his answer ready instantly: "What if I offered you McDonald's French fries?" "Yeah," I admitted. "I'd choose that." If fast-food french fries are better than whatever you're offering, then you need to do better.

The best thing we can say about the Cheese & Tomato Pizza is that it's boring enough to serve as a base layer for other cheeses and toppings. At only $5.99, it was quite huge. We're talking rectangular and at least a foot across, to the point where it took up most of my standard-sized cookie sheet. And although it wasn't particularly delicious as far as the other Trader Joe's frozen pizza options and flatbreads were concerned, it only ranked so low because it was boring. (The exception is the Small Boy, who hated it for nonspecific reasons.)

Overall, if you like to dress up frozen pizzas as we sometimes do, then this would make a good choice. It has a nice saucy tomato base and good cheese, so don't let its ho-hum nature deter you. Whether you want to make crispy pizza from home or reheat a refrigerated or frozen pie, you need the right cookware, though. I just use a traditional cookie sheet such as the GoodCook Everyday Non-Stick Carbon Steel 9" x 13" Baking Sheet for both homemade and frozen pies, but you might prefer a Rectangular Pizza Stone instead.

I still remember the first time I tried pizza Margherita. How I managed to make it to the age of 24 without tasting it, I will never know. I was on my honeymoon in Thailand, and the little resort at which we were staying had a pizza kitchen. We tried it on our first full day there, enjoying it poolside for lunch, and I remember thinking I'd never had anything better in my life. To be fair, a honeymoon is hardly the least biased of times to be tasting pizza, but it left an impression that I've never forgotten. Any chance I have to dig into pizza Margherita, I jump at it.

Should that pizza Margherita happen to cost only $4.79 at TJ's? Well, even better, because I certainly can't afford to go to a trattoria every night. I was therefore disappointed when this Trader Joe's frozen pizza ranked as low as it did. It wasn't terrible, to be sure. The sauce was really good, with a nice tomato-forward flavor. The crust was polarizing, though, with the Small Boy saying he hated it but everyone else reasonably in favor. We all liked the cheese, though we would have liked more of it. Overall, meh. I definitely wouldn't start with this one over the rest of the pizzas or flatbreads on this list, and it won't make core memory status any time soon.

It's my happy duty to tell you that there are some Trader Joe's frozen pizza and flatbreads that did not totally bum me out. From here on out, no matter how they ranked, the choices are edible, and the Pizza Parlanno is no exception. In fact, I found it pretty nice, although the rest of the family did not agree with me, hence its No. 10 ranking. Still, for $5.49, you can safely take this one home if you need a veggie option.

How did I like it? Let me count the ways: It had a nice, tangy tomato sauce. The crust had a good crunch. The cheese was decent. I loved the veggies, which were flavorful. The seasoning was all right. And, while I couldn't care less about sausage and it was pretty mid, it wasn't some unappealing mystery meat. Overall, fine.

Of all the Trader Joe's frozen pizza and flatbreads, this was the one I approached with the most caution. I like heat, but spicy frozen products tend to taste only like spice, and I've had enough of that for one lifetime. However, this was a pleasant surprise to the Father and me, who were the only ones willing to eat it. (The children refused, and the Husband steers clear of spicy food due to acid reflux.)

Good old Dad and I enjoyed it quite a lot, though. The peppers were soft and well cooked, the spice level was right, and even though the sausage was kind of weird, pizza sausage is always kind of weird as far as I'm concerned. I'm not sure it justified the $5.99 price tag for a regular-sized frozen pizza, but whatever. It was decent, and if you like a dash of spice with your 'za, I say go for it.

If you like roasted garlic and pesto and are into a pretty burly Trader Joe's frozen pizza that only costs $5.99, then this won't disappoint. The pesto was well-seasoned and actually tasted like pesto, which is impressive for a frozen option. It didn't rank higher because while the cheese was good, there wasn't enough of it. Similarly, the crust was decent but required dip to get through, because it was unadorned and dry. Like many frozen pizzas, it just didn't have enough going on.

The only reason it ranked higher than the Spicy Meat Pizza is because only the Father and I were even willing to eat that one. When a large portion of your group gives you a "talk to the hand," that's not a good sign. The Roasted Garlic & Pesto Pizza, on the other hand, didn't scare anyone off. 

Several family members love roasted veggies, while several would rather die than eat them, so it's no surprise that this $4.99 Trader Joe's frozen pizza ended up right in the middle. As far as pizza and flatbreads from a freezer aisle go, it was tasty. The vegetables were soft and caramelized and there was a nice assortment of them: zucchini, eggplant, and multiple types of bell pepper.

The crust was a bust, though. And, while the cheese and other vegetables were good, the eggplant was far too crispy, to the point that the creamy insides had melted off, leaving only the tough skin. Still, the overall flavor profile was A-OK. For what it's worth, this is one of the best frozen veggie pizzas I've ever had.

I adore everything truffle, but I'm not exactly out there shelling out serious cash on actual truffles. Instead, I have a rotating cast of truffle-flavored things, such as truffle oil, truffle salt, truffle noodles, truffle butter ... you name it. If I can find it at Grocery Outlet, I buy it. So obviously, when I discovered that Trader Joe's had a Mushroom & Black Truffle Flatbread, I put that in my cart faster than you can say "yes" to a free basket of truffles.

Given my adoration of all things truffle and mushroom in general, I expected to love this, and I did. I was a bit more circumspect when it came to the rest of the family, but as it turned out, they loved it too. It had a nice shroomy flavor, had a good amount of cheese, and looked nice enough when baked to serve to guests as an appetizer, all for $5.49. However, the crust was kind of lame, especially compared to the other types of Trader Joe's frozen pizza we tried. It was too chewy and dense, without a ton of flavor. Still, overall, it was pretty good.

Although we felt it was largely a tie with the Roasted Vegetable Pizza, it ended up getting ranked higher because the veggie option was polarizing. On the other hand, everyone liked this one. Which, when you're dealing with two grownups who have very different tastebuds and two children (one of whom is a born connoisseur and the other a picky eater), as well as a boomer who has strong opinions, that's impressive.

If the combination of cheese, meat, and spring greens appeals to you, then the Burrata, Prosciutto & Arugula Flatbread will probably do the trick. Although I would have liked there to be some (read: any) real burrata, the crust was pretty nice, and the arugula had good flavor as well. The prosciutto, which came in a separate package so that you could apply it cold at the end, was a nice touch — though I didn't approve of the extra plastic. The Small Boy, who has quite a refined palate, thought it was "heavenly" overall. As far as grownups were concerned, it could have been a bit better, but hey, it's a Trader Joe's frozen pizza that runs for $5.49. Given it ranked fifth, you can safely buy this for a weeknight dinner.

We found it rather difficult to cut, however. Unlike when you order pizza from a delivery service, where it comes pre-cut and you just have to tear it apart, frozen pizzas expect you to do all the heavy lifting. As such, you need a good pizza cutter on hand, such as the KitchenAid Classic Pizza Wheel. If you've got kids around, you might want to consider a safety option, like the Kitchy Pizza Cutter Wheel with Protective Blade Cover. If you really want to go for it and plan to eat a lot of Trader Joe's frozen pizza and flatbreads (or other brands), then the 16" Pizza Cutter Rocker Blade by KitchenStar might be for you.

When you hear "Organic 3 Cheese Pizza" for $4.99, you probably think something along the lines of "Well, how bad could it be?" And you'd be right. Like the rest of the Trader Joe's frozen pizza and flatbreads (excluding the entries that ranked 11 through 14), this wasn't half bad. Especially if you're into putting extra toppings on frozen products, it's a good choice.

It was a bit polarizing, true. The Husband was bored by it because all it had going was tomato and cheese. I'm deeply devoted to that rich tomato taste you'll find on Neapolitan pizza, which is what this most reminded me of, so I was very into it. The little ones were pretty lukewarm about it, stating they'd have preferred more toppings.

If you have to categorize the Tarte d'Alsace, I'd say it sits somewhere between a Trader Joe's frozen pizza and the flatbreads. It's round like a pizza, but minimally sauced and topped like the flatbreads. It has a flaky crust that you have to handle gently, but it's very tender, which is nice. The flavor is also excellent, with a good hammy aroma, a nice creamy base, and well-cooked onions. (If there's one thing the Moore family can't abide, it's a crunchy onion.) While it wasn't as good as the Tarte aux Champignons (more on that in a moment) it was pretty awesome.

At $5.49, it was more expensive than some of the other options, but think how much a dish like this would cost at a French restaurant. At least $10, in my experience. Given that you can nearly halve the price, it's a good deal.

When I saw the words "gluten free" in the title of this Trader Joe's frozen pizza option, I was immediately suspicious. Indeed, I assumed it would be the worst of all the frozen pizzas and flatbreads. Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined that a product made without wheat flour could taste this good. The fact that it did not land near the bottom of the list is impressive enough; that it earned the No. 2 spot and only cost $5.49 basically deserves a gold medal.

It was so good, with a nice crunch and compelling seasoning, reminiscent of a real Italian restaurant. Perhaps because it was made of cauliflower crust rather than an alternative grain, we couldn't tell it was gluten-free. I am not kidding when I say it was better than any pizza chain we've tried ... and this is really saying something, as my family has now officially tried all of the biggest American pizza chains, from Domino's to Papa Johns, Little Caesars to Pizza Hut. Point being, if you're GF, forget ordering out; get this instead.

Remember when we talked about my love of all things truffle? That extends to any kind of mushroom, really, so this tart was predestined to blow my mind ... and it did. Smothered with cheese and mushrooms with the perfect crust, it was our No. 1 for a reason. It hit all the checkboxes, from flavor to cheesiness, crust to seasonings, and a light dressing of battery sauce to top everything off. Creamy, tender, flaky, and delicate, I honestly would have liked it if I got it at a French restaurant.

That's pretty glowing praise for something that only costs $4.79 in the freezer section of Trader Joe's. Next time I'm there, I'm going to stock up on several of these, especially since Trader Joe's has rotating products, so you never know when it will be back. I highly recommend you do the same.

Ranking frozen pizzas is hardly a chore, but we still strove to bring some scientific rigor to the process. Given the number of frozen pizzas and flatbreads with which we were contending, we conducted our taste test over the course of several nights, so none of our negative reviews would be because we were full. This also ensured that every pizza we tried got enough time in the oven and came out piping hot.

For each pizza, we cut up a thin slice for all participants and tasted them at the same time. We tried the crust by itself and the pizza with toppings so we could get a good idea of the whole product. This is important because when you eat pizza, you're left with a lot of crust. This is arguably even more true with frozen pizza, because manufacturers seem to deal with the crumbliness of cheese by leaving more exposed crust. This minimizes the shattering potential of frozen dairy, but it also minimizes the cheese itself. Therefore, the crust really needs to taste good.

We also took price into account. With many types of products, cost doesn't factor in all that much because you're comparing different sizes, brands, or ingredients. However, Trader Joe's is a single brand, and consistency is their game. With a batch of frozen pizzas and flatbreads that all live within a few feet of one another in the freezer case, we felt that what you're expected to pay really does matter. Accordingly, we've shared prices here (even though they may not exactly reflect what a pizza costs at your neighborhood TJ's), and we accounted for whether or not we thought the cost was reasonable in each case.